Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Interview with a Murloc

Murlocs, they come in all colors and sizes, but how much do you really know about these little creatures of the shore. They dwell in tiny huts, huts that most try to avoid, but curiosity got the better of this reporter. Me and my crew were originally scheduled to go and attempt contact with these ancient creatures but my crew was not so enthused. They all but abandoned me once they discovered where I was going. Now, I alone, had the task of capturing a candid interview with one of these creatures. With so many obsticles, I began my journey.

The first obstacle was the ever apparent language barrier. I knew of one person who could possibly attempt to communicate with the murlocs, but it wasn't going to be easy, Thrall was extremely difficult to reach, especially as I am a member of the alliance. For this task we had WoN's own Olaf Tightpants gather the necessary quest items for this interview. I wrote down a list of questions and gave them to Olaf who, in turn, made his way to the Valley of Wisdom to request audience with Thrall. Olaf convinced Thrall to participate, as it was a study of indigenous creatures in an attempt to better understand the dangers around his great city. Thrall agreed on the grounds of scientific advancement and discovery. Olaf then had Thrall read the questions aloud in Nerglish and recorded these questions on tape. As you know, Nerglish is one of the languages spoken by the murlocs next to their native tongue, which has yet to be deciphered. Olaf then returned to me with the prerecorded questions. It was on to step two.

My only hopes to infiltrate a nearby Murloc village was to go in disguised and hope for some sort of lesser intelligence as to not be discovered. I made my disguise and went on my way. Now, I didn't want to venture to far into one of their villages, for safety reasons, I met with a murloc who seemed to be on patrol. The tension was palpable. As first this Murloc patrol seemed unsure as to my race, but once I played to tape, lip syncing every syllable, the patrol began to warm up to me. With tape recorder in one hand and my tape player in the other, I was ready to begin the interview.

And now, for the first time, an interview with a murloc.

[Dave]: Greetings, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

[Murloc]: Do you take me for a fool? I will grant your request only out of pity for your ignorance!

[Dave]: Thank you. Question 1: What is your name?

[Murloc]: My name is of no consequence to you.

[Dave]: Question 2: What is your quest?

[Murloc]: My Quest!?! You need not concern yourself with our divine quest, for it shall be revealed. We and our Naga brethren shall, in time, find our place in the history of the land as we have made it ours in the sea.

[Dave]: Question 3: What is your favorite color?

[Murloc]: . . . We're pretty much done here. . .

It was at this time our subject departed us. And in a rather foul mood I might add. Needless to say, I was very lucky to have walked away unscathed. Now I had to get the audio translated.

When Olaf returned with the results I was very surprised. Most, myself included, have always been convinced that the fiendish murlocs were a rather unintelligent creature, my interview seems to note otherwise. And what of this "Divine Quest" it spoke of? Is there something being organized? Should the citizen of Azeroth worry? I cannot answer these questions. However, what ever it is looming around the corner, I have no doubt the people of Azeroth will face it the same way they have faced all other challenges that befell this land, with tact, honor, and perseverance.

This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft
Murloc Interview with a murloc Davedavidson WoW Murloc Interview with a murloc Davedavidson WoW Murloc Interview with a murloc Davedavidson WoW Murloc
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well that was fascinating. I have to admit you have no life, get a job and a wife.

World of Newscraft