Monday, September 24, 2007

All your LEWTZ!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Azerothian Super Villains

OMG! Teh greatest love story ever told? Yes, yes it is. These are some of the funniest machinima I've ever laid eyes on. I mean, they literally pwned my brain. Enjoy if you haven't already. If you have...enjoy it again!

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Friday, August 31, 2007

Raptor Fighting Ring: Hunters Outraged!

In the past months we have been working to uncover a most devious activity. An underground society which holds no respect for any living thing. We are proud to say that these vicious persons have finally been exposed for the evil monsters they are. We are talking about the participants of a long standing, underground, illegal Raptor fighting ring.

And who would be vile enough to head up such an insidious operation? Non other than Ogrimar's own, Neeru Fireblade (Above). It seems as though his well known, yet unpunished, participation in the burning legion was not the only thing old Neeru had his greasy mitts in. Sources within the organization have all pointed to Fireblade as the ring leader and the top of the Raptor food chain. It's been reported that he would often, not only, host the events, but was seen placing large amounts of loot on his own Raptors. Apprently he had been selling Taragaman the Hungerer's Heart on the black market in order to fund his gambling habit.

We attempted to contact Neeru at his residence in Shadow Cleft, however, he has declined to issue a comment. As of now he still denies involvement in such an organization. We will keep you updated as this story develops.

This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft
Your source for World of Warcraft News.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Well, the deed is done. They've finally made a movie using nothing but game play footage from WoW. And by "they" I mean the extremely talented folks over at

I for one am very excited and mildly jealous that we never thought of it. Well, we can't think of everything. Rest assured, this is going to be an interwebs block buster. It would undoubtedly be a very cool idea if the folks at blizzard showed a live, in game, screening of the movie upon it's release. Now that would be an amazing event. Then after the screening the L70ETC could kick out some l33t jams! THEN blizzard could hand out all kinds of epic gear for S's and G's (shits and giggles) However, I doubt any of that would happen. Here's to hoping!

Anyway, show some love over at Voig, after all, these people are about to fulfill a rather large void in all our lives. Giving us a gift we never knew we wanted!

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft
Your source for World of Warcraft News.

Monday, July 30, 2007

New Expansion

This just in. The new WoW expansion rumored to take place in Northrend? Score sheets for 3 never before heard tracks, to be performed at Blizzcon, have been leaked. Each of these tracks have "Northrend" in them.

I'm more than excited, but unless I see something holy new from this expansion I'll be considerably disappointed. The fact that the expansion is coming out so early leads me to dread that it might feel like nothing more than a patch that i'll have to pay for. Who knows. Blizzard has better come through on this one. After hitting the 9 million mark, you don't want to start dropping back down because of a rushed expansion. Finger crossed! XD

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft
Your source for World of Warcraft News.

Monday, July 9, 2007


We here at WoN are working on bringing you a video broad cast. Please be patient while we work out the kinks.

Dave Davidson

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

A God Amongst Men: World of Morphcraft!

We found this strange footage of no mere mortal. Atop a snow covered hill, this strange being takes several powerful, and some lesser, forms! Watch and be amazed!

This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft
Your source for World of Warcraft News.

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Music Contest Winners!

The winners for the Ataris/WoW Music Contest are as follows. Might I ad, all of the contestants rawk'D. And my personal fav WON! w00t! Definitely go the site contest page and peep it.

  • 1st place- Frame of Mind
    Submitted by Sedrin
  • 2nd place- The Ataris - Connections Are More Dangerous Than Lies
    Submitted by Baron Soosdon
  • 3rd place- Connections Are More Dangerous Than Lies
    Submitted by Dead Workers Party
Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft
Your source for World of Warcraft News.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Comic Winner June 2007

This months winner is Harl. Purdy funny. I know I had a good chuckle. As for the rest of June, You know where to go.

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft
Your source for World of Warcraft News.

*all images courtesy of Blizzard and World of Warcraft*

Friday, June 29, 2007

Behind the Quest: Billy Maclure ( Part 2: Pork Pie Peril )

We last left at the end of my quest. I now had a new pair of gloves, and a bothersome question. How did a young boy like Billy Maclure know so much about Gold Tooth? I needed to know and only one person had the answers. . .Billy.

After a short rest from my weary quest I made haste back to the Maclure Vineyard. I was on a new quest now, one of mystery and intrigue. One who's only reward was. . .THE TRUTH! As I approached the Vineyard I noticed Billy talking to a brave young warrior. This instantly drew my curiosity so I tiptoed through the bushes just within earshot. What I heard next was unforgettable.
The warrior was inquiring as to the whereabouts of Auntie Bernice's necklace! "WTF!", I thought to my self. How could this be? I had just returned it to here not 10 minutes before coming over here. I waited for Billy's response. . .

"I was playing near the Fargodeep Mine, and I think I dropped, er...I mean I saw, the old lady's necklace. Don't ask me how it got wasn't me!" It sounded all too familiar. After the warrior left Billy turned and went into the Macllure barn, I followed. Inside I saw pork pie upon pork pie, Stacked and counted. I could hear whispers from the back of the barn. One voice was Billy's and the other sounded strangely familiar, howver, I could not place it. The conversation went as follows:

[Billy]: Is everything in order?

[Voice]: Yes, everything is going according to plan.

[Billy]: Good, soon we shall have enough pork pies and all of Goldshire will tremble!

[Voice]: Yes, these fools, along with that stupid widow, will farm us enough pork pies to start our pork pie business. With it we will have enough gold to buy Goldshire itself!

[Billy]: Mwa ha ha ha! ROTFL!

I heard footsteps coming my way so I ran out of the barn and took cover behind a nearby wagon. When I peered back out I saw him. GOLD TOOTH! Him and Billy have been in cahoots this whole time! I don't know the entire plan, but I did know enough! I gathered my self then attempted to sneak away, but I was spotted. I ran as fast as I could toward Goldshire but the Gold Tooth was unrelenting. I didn't know what to do. As I approached the small ridge outside Goldshire, just past the mines, I tripped over an old fallen tree trunk. It seemed like the end. With Gold Tooth fast approaching I did the only thing I could. I grabbed a nearby forest spider and hurled it as hard as I could. Luckily for me, it hit Gold Tooth square in the face. I stood back up and bolted for town.

I made it. I was out of breath and covered in sweat. I had no evidence of my findings and knew no one would believe me. The best I could do was take shelter at the in and record my story. Hopefully someone will read it. Maybe they'll think twice before gathering Pork Belly Pies for Billy Maclure.

This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Behind the Quest: Billy Maclure ( Part 1: The Quest )

As you all may well know, ( at least those with the alliance ) young Billy Maclure has been an intricate part of your early days in Azeroth. But what do you really know about Billy Maclure? This reporter dug deeper to find the truth behind this meat pie menace.

It all starts with a lost necklace. One sweet "Auntie" Bernice Stonefield has lost a precious bejeweled necklace, and she thinks she knows who did it. This poor widow points you in the direction of a menace known as Billy Maclure. From Bernice's trustworthy suspicions, he doesn't seem to be a very reputable character. You make your way over to the Maclure vineyards in hopes to retrieve this poor woman's necklace. This is where it all starts.

I arrived at the Maclure Vineyard with nothing but disdain for young Billy, as I tried to remain as objective as possible. I spoke with Billy regarding the necklace but he didn't seem to have any information. I, initially, felt bad for judging him. He said he may remember who had the necklace then he asked me to have Bernice bake him some Pork Belly Pies to jog his memory. I hesitated, thinking this was just a scam, but then remembered how hard it is to think on an empty stomach. I humbly accepted.

I ran about for neigh an hour, killing boar after boar. Finally I found 4 usable pieces of decent boar meat. I swiftly returned to Aunt Bernice. She said she would make me the pies but would not let go of her suspicion that young Billy was behind all this. I, on the other hand, was still trying my hardest to stay neutral in this endeavor. After Aunt Bernice finished my pies, I was off.

I rushed back over the the Maclure Vineyards to find Billy wide eyed over the meat pies. He took them from me and gobbled a few down. I had to interrupt him, mid-chew, to inquire about the necklace. He said I could find it in the possession of a large, gold-toothed Kobold. I took off to the Fargodeep mine, it was notorious for it massive Kobold populous. Yet there was something in the way he said it that made me ever suspicious. I had no time for doubts though, I had a widow's necklace to retrieve.

I fought my way through the mines, laying to waste Kobold after Kobold. I would stop, only to heal myself and recharge lost mana. Then, after defeating countless foes in a maze of bloodshed, I saw him. Gold Tooth, it was a triumphant moment, and I drank it in like blended Pork Belly Pie! Gold Tooth and I stood face to face, locked in intense stare. His gaze was white hot and my sword was as sharp as a Marshfang Slicer Blade. I motioned. . .He charged. With each slice, each blow, each cut and scrape, my victory drew closer. I was fueled by the passion of a distressed widow, drowning in the loss of an epic sentiment. Finally, my hard work had paid off. As Gold Tooth lie there I searched his pockets only to find that young Billy Maclure's story held up. The necklace was safe and en route to it's rightful owner.

I returned to Bernice with the necklace safe in hand and when I arrived she was ever great full. We said our good byes, I took my reward, then took my leave. But the story doesn't end there. This is where it all begins. With Billy's ever too convenient knowledge of the Gold Tooth, my mind was a flurry. There was work to do.

. . .To Be Continued. . .

Dave Davidson

World of Newscraft

Saturday, June 23, 2007

WoW TCG Art Card Sets

Now I know some of you may be partial to actually play the TCG. In my personal, yet ever so humble opinion, I think it's stupid. Playing a card game you can play online? Hmmmmm...always seemed to me like another shot for Blizzard to make a few extra bucks more than the millions they already make every month. Regardless. They just released the new TCG Art Card Sets.

Now I know I just bitched about Blizzard raping it's fans for more money, but, I really want these. They are far less expensive, overall, than getting invested in a decomposable version of an online game. I also just really appreciate art. Especially when the particular subject of the art is something I'm really into at the moment.

The set includes:
  • 35 different 8"x10" art cards displaying art from the World of Warcraft Trading Card Game.
  • Horde Images by Dan Scott, Justin Sweet, Todd Lockwood, Jonboy Meyers, Samwise and other top artists.
  • Alliance Set Images by Kev Walker, James Zhang, Todd McFarlane, Michael Komarck, Greg Staples and other and other top artists.
  • An exclusive game-playable TCG foil card.
  • A high-point-value UDE Rewards Card. Use these points to get enhancements for your online game or other exclusive prizes.

They are sold as two separate sets. The ever so amazing Horde set, and the slightly less, yet still extra cool, Alliance set. I know I'm bias, but look, Dave is the news anchor not me. I don't have to be fair and balanced. :P They're gunna run you $49.99 over at Game Stop/EB Games, but they're bound to bring you much joy. I'm sure you'll find them cheaper at a discount store in a couple weeks anyway.

So break out your official World of Warcraft Visa card and get to swipe'n. It's time to get your art on bizznitch!

You're ever so classy friend,
Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Robin Hood Screenshot Contest

The 15 winners have been announced. Personally I don't think a lot of these screens deserved to win much of anything. Many of them looked like "Hey, here's me playing WoW!" Maybe I just don't have the keen eye for composition that the Blizzard staff possesses . I did however find one winner that I thought actually deserved a prize.

The picture to your right was submitted by Moonasha. This, to me, is the only one of the lot that looked like it took some kind of effort. For a screen shot contest, this really shows a lot of effort. I like it. (click image for larger view )

The rest of the winners can be found here, but don't say I didn't warn you. They aren't "gouge your eyes out" bad, but they definitely aren't good. Of course, as usual, I'll leave the final judgment to yourself. Till we meet again.

-Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Music Contest

For those of you unawares, there is a music video contest a happening. The Ataris/World of Warcraft Music Video Contest. The Finalists have been announced and are waiting for your vote. The winner will be announced on June 30th.

So far Sedrin is in the lead with his video for "Frame of Mind". I had the pleasure to watch it, and I only have 2 words for it; Stun Ing! It definitely deserves to be in the finals. But don't let me tell you what to think. Go see for your self here. Enjoy.

-Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

Bring out the Brute Squad!

DAMN BOYEEEEE! Blizzard looks mad. Not just mad like when you stub your toe and your kids toys, but mad like when you catch your wife cheating on you with a a handsome blood elf on your anniversary.

They had the following to say:

"we will continue to aggressively monitor all World of Warcraft realms in order to protect the service and its players from the negative effects of cheating."

I'm all for it. I'm not one to cheat so I wouldn't say it really effects me. No biggie. Either way, botters beware. U R da Suxorz! As if you didn't already know!

-Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

Monday, June 18, 2007

Illidan Defeated

You may have already seen it, but for those of you who have not, Illidan has been defeated. We here at World of Newscraft are joyed yet dismayed. On the one hand, Iliidan has been slain and one less icon of corruption and evil now exists in our world, yet on the other hand. You may recall, some time ago, we had sent numerous field reporters (mostly interns) to obtain an interview, one on one, with Illidan. None of our reporters returned with the story, if they returned at all. We lost a lot of good men, women, and children in attempting to gain the exclusive interview, but now it seems it was all in vain. Illidan has been slain and his person shall forever be shrouded in the legend and history that surrounds him. We will never truly know Illidan.

We have found this footage however, and now have it available for the viewer.


This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft
Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW *all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Friday, June 15, 2007

Wizzer D's Forsaken Bastard Corner: Passive Mage

Mages. I'm a mage, and i'm dern proud of it. Ain't noth'n wrong with bein a mage, unless, you are the kind of mage that sits around eating up your own dag nabbit mana and doing little to no damage. I was run'n round in Shadow Fang with a fella 'bout 10 levels over me. Now, all the baddies round these parts were my level or higher. So we recruit some more folks to help out. We ended up with another mage who happened to be 6 levels over me. I thought, "Hey, this scallywag oughta be able to help out fairly well, consider'n how much butt I've been kick'n." No, I was wrong, and I HATE bein wrong. This little no goodnik just sat there cast'n his arcane explosion. My wand was doing more damage than his explosion! I had more magic in my pinky then this sorry excuse for a mage had in his whole spellbook. A mage that doesn't do any damage? Boy howdy, it's like a day without bloodshed. This little rapscallion had to of been PL'd to get that far with his skill. I was ashamed. Kids these days with their "power level'n". When are they gunna learn, if'n you want some respect, you gotta earn it. I swear. I should've challenged that little whiper snapper to a duel. I think I got enough moxy left in the old bones to go toe to toe with a passive agressive mage!

With regards,
Old Wizzer D.

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Blizzcon Tickets 2007

I know, I'm a bit behind. On sale as of the 12th. My prediction is they sell out in less then a week. No actual figures to back this prediction, it's just how fast I think they SHOULD sell out. Especially if I could afford to go myself.

Now, Just because I, nor any of my other writers will be able to attend, doesn't mean we don't have ways of getting the scoop from Blizzcon. Believe it or not, we have friends. Though they seem to be few and far between :).

We'll try to update a bit more often. I'm currently working on getting all the gear we're gunna need to do a video feed along with the articles. Funds are tight so be patient. I think the Wizzer is gunna have something here soon. He seemed real angry in passing today.

Well, that's it for now. Stay in touch.

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Olaf Tightpants: Candid Fashions

Hallo kiddies. Welcome to Candid Fashions, my name is Olaf Tightpants. I hope you all enjoyed my review of the new tier sets, I know I did. You probably have been wandering, "Hey Olaf, What do you do in your free time while you are waiting to tell me which tier sets looks best because I don't know as much about fashion as you and could never decide on my own?" Good question. It's simple. When I'm out defeating numerous foes, I always have one eye on the latest fashion trends. This means, that if you happen to come trouncing by whilst I am in the heat of battle, AND you happen to be wearing the same outfit as me. Well, you will probably be the subject of a photo and horrible tongue lashing on my candid fashions segment. No one takes the spotlight away from Olaf when it comes to fashion. Rule one: If Olaf is wearing it, then ONLY Olaf knows how to really WEAR it.

Today in Candid Fashions I found a couple of do's and don'ts of fashion. Let's have a look shall we? Yes... the answer is yes we shall. Come.

First, our fashion do! This young vixen is sporting a classic ensemble. Normally I would push for something a little more modern but she pulls it off quite nicely. It must be her bone structure. That girlish figure, she can't weigh more than 50 pounds. I would kill for a figure like that. This is beside the point. It classic, it's chic, it's in. But who knows how long it will be "in". I do, and I'm not telling.

And here we have a fine specimen of fashion failure. This medley of color and curve leaves my one eye sobbing in a pit of despair, whilst my other eye searches frantically though the depth of it's soul for a metaphorical razor blade with witch it can cut it's tiny little eyeball wrists. How tragic. It looks like a clown and a cow got in a head on collision, made love, had a baby, later found out that they were brother and sister, which is why the baby came out mutated and now the baby lives in a cave in the middle of nowhere hunting disenfranchised passers by. I weep. But only one tear.

So for all you fashion n00bs out there. Keep this tip in mind. If I haven't told you it looks good, then you should probably set it on fire and never think about wearing it again.

This has been Olaf Tightpants, your favorite Fashion Guru.

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Friday, June 8, 2007

Wizzer D's Forsaken Bastard Corner: L70ETC

It looks like these dang old whipper snappers are at it again. Always run'n their mouths, make'n all kinds of noise. Even after an old man has passed and then reanimated can he get no dern rest! Us older gents got no one to blame but dem change'n times. This "Rock 'n Roll" music ain't nothin but a bunch of ruckus, just pollute'n the air.

This band, The so called, Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain (L70ETC) ain't nothin but a bunch of no goodniks look'n for trouble and stir'n things up. Now don't get me wrong. I listened to'em, but all I heard was a bunch of sas! Anyways, here's a music video for you youngins out there who would consider this type of violation to be "music".

With regards,
Old Wizzer D.

World of Newscraft
Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain L70ETC Level 60Elite Tauren Chieftain L60ETC Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain L70ETC Level 60 Elite Tauren Chieftain L60ETC Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain L70ETC Level 60 Elite Tauren Chieftain L60ETC
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

More Armory Action!

The Armory is really start'n to kick in to full gear here. Of course, not full in a sense of complete, more like. . . really shake'n. The Armory has recently been fitted with a niffty little item search. Of course this pretty much already existed on Thottbot. Yet again, the fans keep Blizzard well behind.

Not to be outdone, however, Blizzard has made the addition of making this item database work in conjunction with your character profile. So basically you can pin up your character and start comparing your currently equipped items with ones you might be thinking about getting. And all this from the comfort of your cubicle. That is, when you aren't actually working, or playing minesweeper. So kudos to Blizzard for this LONG overdue character development system. You've taken a good thing and made it considerably better.

Well, enjoy spending countless hours searching the "Official" items database. I know I will.

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Monday, June 4, 2007

Murloc Suit: Predicted by World of Newscraft

Now, for those of you familiar with past articles, you most likely read Dave Davidson's "Interview with a Murloc". In this article, Dave had to dress up in a Murloc suit in order to secure the interview he desired. If you've been here lately then you just recently saw that Blizzard is giving a Murloc suit to all Blizzcon attendees.

Now, I'm not saying that Blizzard is getting free ideas from a fanfic site, nor am I saying that they straight up stole it. However, I am saying that it is rather suspicious that WE introduced the suit on 5/29/07 and Blizzard did not announce it until 6/4/07.

If you read the ground breaking article by Dave then you know the painstaking efforts he went through to get his story. This includes getting access to Thrall and constructing his own murloc suit made out of ACTUAL Murloc skin. This particular suit looks rather shoddy, made from ratty old socks and other various rags.

What an unfortunate coincidence. No doubt we'll see more groundbreaking ideas out of World of Newscraft, but perhaps even more coincidence regarding later similarities from Blizzard releases.

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft
Murloc suit Blizzcon Blizzard Murloc Murloc suitMurloc suit Blizzcon Blizzard Murloc Murloc suitMurloc suit Blizzcon Blizzard Murloc Murloc suitMurloc suit Blizzcon Blizzard Murloc Murloc
Blizzcon swag Blizzcon rewards
Blizzcon swag Blizzcon rewardsBlizzcon swag Blizzcon rewards
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Friday, June 1, 2007

May 2007 Comic Contest Winner!

Last months winner features a comic regarding the truth behind the world's most popular game. That's right, you just got pwned by a little girl. I guess it is possible to feel even worse about being middle aged and living in a basement. Perhaps I'll just re-spec my talent tree and give this little tyke another go round!

The honorable mentions for May can be found here, but you probably already knew that!

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Interview with a Murloc

Murlocs, they come in all colors and sizes, but how much do you really know about these little creatures of the shore. They dwell in tiny huts, huts that most try to avoid, but curiosity got the better of this reporter. Me and my crew were originally scheduled to go and attempt contact with these ancient creatures but my crew was not so enthused. They all but abandoned me once they discovered where I was going. Now, I alone, had the task of capturing a candid interview with one of these creatures. With so many obsticles, I began my journey.

The first obstacle was the ever apparent language barrier. I knew of one person who could possibly attempt to communicate with the murlocs, but it wasn't going to be easy, Thrall was extremely difficult to reach, especially as I am a member of the alliance. For this task we had WoN's own Olaf Tightpants gather the necessary quest items for this interview. I wrote down a list of questions and gave them to Olaf who, in turn, made his way to the Valley of Wisdom to request audience with Thrall. Olaf convinced Thrall to participate, as it was a study of indigenous creatures in an attempt to better understand the dangers around his great city. Thrall agreed on the grounds of scientific advancement and discovery. Olaf then had Thrall read the questions aloud in Nerglish and recorded these questions on tape. As you know, Nerglish is one of the languages spoken by the murlocs next to their native tongue, which has yet to be deciphered. Olaf then returned to me with the prerecorded questions. It was on to step two.

My only hopes to infiltrate a nearby Murloc village was to go in disguised and hope for some sort of lesser intelligence as to not be discovered. I made my disguise and went on my way. Now, I didn't want to venture to far into one of their villages, for safety reasons, I met with a murloc who seemed to be on patrol. The tension was palpable. As first this Murloc patrol seemed unsure as to my race, but once I played to tape, lip syncing every syllable, the patrol began to warm up to me. With tape recorder in one hand and my tape player in the other, I was ready to begin the interview.

And now, for the first time, an interview with a murloc.

[Dave]: Greetings, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

[Murloc]: Do you take me for a fool? I will grant your request only out of pity for your ignorance!

[Dave]: Thank you. Question 1: What is your name?

[Murloc]: My name is of no consequence to you.

[Dave]: Question 2: What is your quest?

[Murloc]: My Quest!?! You need not concern yourself with our divine quest, for it shall be revealed. We and our Naga brethren shall, in time, find our place in the history of the land as we have made it ours in the sea.

[Dave]: Question 3: What is your favorite color?

[Murloc]: . . . We're pretty much done here. . .

It was at this time our subject departed us. And in a rather foul mood I might add. Needless to say, I was very lucky to have walked away unscathed. Now I had to get the audio translated.

When Olaf returned with the results I was very surprised. Most, myself included, have always been convinced that the fiendish murlocs were a rather unintelligent creature, my interview seems to note otherwise. And what of this "Divine Quest" it spoke of? Is there something being organized? Should the citizen of Azeroth worry? I cannot answer these questions. However, what ever it is looming around the corner, I have no doubt the people of Azeroth will face it the same way they have faced all other challenges that befell this land, with tact, honor, and perseverance.

This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft
Murloc Interview with a murloc Davedavidson WoW Murloc Interview with a murloc Davedavidson WoW Murloc Interview with a murloc Davedavidson WoW Murloc
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Saturday, May 26, 2007

RAWR Bombing

It has been reported that there have been a slew of what most are dubbing "RAWR Bombings". These violent attacks can only be summarized in one word, tragic.

These RAWR Bombings are a vicious act performed by those of the Druid class. An act in which the Druid will silently glide over the head of it's victim. Then, when the target least expects it, the Druid transforms in a Bear and drops on top of their unsuspecting victim. With a load roaring "RAWR", these Druids rip into their victim without remorse or restraint.

Some special interest groups are calling for laws throughout all of Azeroth, putting restrictions on these acts, some even wish to impose restrictions on the Druids Bear form all together. Groups such as U.P.A.R.B. (United Peoples Against RAWR Bombings) have been cited as saying, "These Druids can't seem to control themselves...constantly blood lusting while in bear form." Members of this group are, as of now, seeking legal council to take the matter to various kingdoms throughout Azeroth.

"As these attacks begin growing in numbers, we are seeing a common trend.", says on goblin scientist, "These Druids tend to become far more violent while in this bear form than any other time." Many independent labs are conducting numerous studies to see if the Druid bear form is in anyway linked to increased aggression or mental instability.

There is also a growing number of concerns regarding the possible negative impacts these attacks could cause on a mass scale if they ever become organized. Speculation in the Urban community has lead to increased paranoia among many citizens. "I just don't know if I should let my children play outside, it's just not safe anymore.", confided one concerned parent.

Weather or not it is possible for these attacks could become so organized that they could besiege an entire city is yet to be determined. The scientific community argues as to weather or not Druids, while in bear form, are even capable of such complex thought and organization. At this point, only time will tell.

One ex-guard recounts his brush with death following an attack.

[Dave]: What were you doing on the day of the attack?

[Guard]: I was going about my daily rounds to ensure the safety of my town. I was just attacked out of nowhere.

[Dave]: Do you think you may have done anything to provoke an attack?

I. . .no, nothing.

I know this is hard to talk about, but can you walk us through that tragic day?

Well, before heading out for patrol I had just finished lunch and put on some lotion. I buy the lotion with honey extract, the honey helps to ex foliate. I then headed out for patrol. I remember a slight breeze to the east. This was the direction the attack came from. I looked up and this Bear was just falling out of the sky. I didn't even have time to scream.

[Dave]: Thank you for your time. I know it hasn't been easy.

It's plain to see the devastation these attacks have on individuals, and it's hard to imagine to pain it must cause the loved ones of those unfortunate enough to not make it. We here at World of Newscraft send our best out to those affected by these tragic events and wish all citizens of Azeroth safe passage, as we may never know what provokes these attacks.

This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!
World of Newscraft
RAWR Bombing RAWRbombing Druid bear form druid Rawr bombing
RAWR Bombing RAWRbombing Druid bear form druid Rawr bombingRAWR Bombing RAWRbombing Druid
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Break Dancing Epidemic

Recently we have seen a rash of break dancing related beatings. No one knows for sure the motives behind these sinister acts but we can only assume the worst. The attacks seem to be initiated by persons of the troll persuasion and are centered on the gnomes as recipients. We dug deeper into this underworld of mass serving to get the story first hand.

Being Human, my presence was first met with hostility as I came across a group of young trolls practicing this craft behind a local tavern. With staff and bow drawn, I could do little but plea my indifference. The language barrier was a big hurdle, however, our own Olaf Tightpants was there to translate. I had a chance to sit down with one of the dancers.

[Dave]: So, how long have you been break dancing?

[Dancer]: 'Bout as long as me can remember mon.

[Dave]: When did you first realize you could use this skill as a form of attack?

[Dancer]: Let's get one thing straight. I ain't be using it to attack. These 'lil gnomes be try'n to step, 't ain't me fault if dey can't handle get'n dem asses served.

[Dave]: Interesting.

I tried to get in touch with one of the attack victims, however, he declined an interview. Although, he did leave a statement, "These trolls think they're so cool. Long legs, bad attitudes. Psh! Who needs'em. It's not my fault I was born with these stubby legs."

How long will this feud of rhythm and motion continue? How will it affect the youth of this great world? No one can know for sure.

For our less sensitive viewers, we've included video footage of this brutal practice on tape. Viewer discretion is advised.
Breakdancing baby kicking awe
some baby kicking break dance baby flip kick

This is Dave Davidson Signing out.

Only the strong will level!
World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft
Breakdancing baby kicking awesome baby kicking break dance baby flip kick

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Wizzer D's Forsaken Bastard Corner: Shadowfire

That's right youngins. I, the magnificent Wizzer D, have joined a guild. A rather spectacular guild by the name of Shadowfire. Just as I had recovered from the ever so rude surprise attack by that Scarlet vixen, when I was approached by one Omnicorpse. He was following me down the road to Silverpine, no doubt trailing by the effervescent scent of my Bengay. He finally caught my attention and wooed me into joining. Now, normally, I would just brush off any attempts by anyone to talk to me period, especially a young whipper-snapper like Omnicorpse. There was just something about his old timey persistence in the way he pursued me.

I accepted the invite and was promptly greeted. I was tenative at first but the guild grew on me rather quick. So if you happen to be on Sen'Jin and are looking for a mostly serious guild with friendly, helpful members then look up Shadowfire. You can send a tell to Varinis or Omnicorpse for an invite. And there was something I was supposed to say about the greatest Hunter that ever lived, but for the life of me my old, half decomposed, brain just can't remember. I guess you'll just have to ask when you join.

With regards,
Old Wizzer D.

World of Newscraft

Tier 6 Preview with Olaf Tightpants

Welcome my little Fashionistas. This is Olaf Tightpants, your favorite Fashion Guru. I'm going to give a brief run down of the new armor sets then let you watch a video sample brought to you by the ever so vivacious Fanatik. So get your old rusty 4 and 5 armor and hold on to your helms. Here we go!

Paladin: This little light of mine, I'm gunna let it shine all over the bloodied faces of the unholy, then it'll burn through the flesh of the damned like much hotness! You shimmer and shine in your glowing gear and beautiful Halo!

Rouge: You've got your spiky little collar popped and you don't care who knows it. It's just too bad no one will get to see your demonic trend setting before you burst from the shadow, sneak up behind and stab their backs before they can say, "Sweet sexy Slayer gear!"

Druid: What did I say last time? Re-roll. Sure, you may no look like a tree, or an elk this time. But you know what? You look like an eagle made love to a totem pole and gave birth on you!

Hunter: Jeepers Creepers, where'd you get those peepers? Wait, maybe I don't want to know. Be sure to pack some extra eyedrops, cause when you're creep'n in the brush, you're bound to get a leaf or two in one of your 3 extra eyes.

Warlocks: You sure know how to strut your stuff. Not much to say except "Fly fly little birdie, fly fly." And oh yeah, gnomes, you still look super cute, try'n to be all demonic.

Warrior: A porcupine robo-saurus. It's a complete disaster.

Mage: Buzz Buzz. Your new outfits are rather. . . Shocking? Yeah, I had to say it. It's like a walking lightning rod. Wait? Since when are you able to use shock spells? It's that whole thing a Shaman deal? Tsk Tsk, Bad form.

Shaman: We discussed this Nature thing... didn't we? Well, looks like you got it right, minus the hankie. You have these giant, glowing, menacing shoulders that make you look tres tough, and ruin it with a tissue to cover your face. Soo close!

Priest: Look what we got here. . .Looks like Preists are starting to grow a set of testes. How unfortunate that this wicked armor STILL looks better on the female of the species. At least those beloved shadow spells of yours will finally fit the look. Enjoy. . .For now.

This round, Best in show goes to . . . . Dundundundundundundun ( it's a drum roll. )

WARLOCK! SHA-BAZ! Who'd a thunk it.

This has been Olaf Tightpants, your favorite Fashion Guru.

World of Newscraft
WoW tier 6 World of Warcraft armor set teir 6 WoW tier 6 Armor video Tier 6 video
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Black Temple: In Search of Illidan

Once we here at World of Newscraft heard that once again brave fighters would be entering the Black Temple we thought it would responsible journalism to report on this mysterious Temple shrouded in. . . mystery? The History is well known regarding this ominous Temple, but for those of you unfamiliar our historians have put together a quick recap of the events surrounding this Temple.

The Black Temple was once known as the Temple of Karabor, a sacred site to the Draenei which served as the refuge of the Prophet Valen. However, after the formation of the Horde it was order to be conquered by Gul'dan and became the headquarters of the Shadow Council.

After the destruction of Daenor it was taken over by the Burning Legion and renamed the Black Citadel. Now at this time the Black Citadel was located in Hellfire Peninsula

Illidan then waged a bloody campaign through which he conquered much of Outland, including the black Citadel, renaming it the Black Temple. Shortly after his defeat by Arthas he returned to the black Temple And has remained there until this very day. However, if you look for the temple in Hellfire Peninsula, you will not find it. The Black Temple is currently located in Shadowmoon Valley.

Now, we have heard that Illidan has, scince his glory days, lost his mind. These claims are not something we could verify as they are, until now, speculation. We here at WoN have sent numerous representatives to the Black Temple in search of answers.

Why and how was the Temple moved?

Has Illidan really lost his mind?

The answers to these questions could only be found in the mind of one tormented soul, Illidan himself. Now, we have yet to receive word from any of the representative we have sent to seek these answers. We can only assume, as of now, that Illidan has declined to comment on any of the past or current events surrounding the Black Temple or his current mental state. As for our representatives, well, we remain optimistic for their return and will continue to send more until we uncover the truth.

This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft
Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW
Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW
Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Wizzer D's Forsaken Bastard Corner:Scarlet Crusade

Scarlet Crusade! Confounded arrogance! These dag-blasted freaks think they can just run around with their skin all attached and organs snuggly contained well within the confines of their own body. Hmph! The shear thought that us Forsaken are on the same level as those filthy Scourge, it's unspeakable. These no-good-niks roam around, free from the laws of the land.

For instance, I was merely out hunting when my mana fell to a level below functionality. Of course I stopped and was sipping on my conjured water when she came. This little Scarlet filly ran up on me so fast I didn't even have time to put down my water. She drop kicked me in the back of the neck.

Completely regardless of general manners this little hussy persisted. Now back in my day, we not only had respect for those older than us, but our women new their place at home and always respected then man folk. Leave it to these whiper-snappers to turn the world upside down.

I had no choice, I was taught never to hit a girl. I regained my composure and cast polymorph. This fuzzy las then turned tail and ran. For the life of me, I'll never understand the youth today. I mean, that surprise attack could have stopped my heart, had it been beating in the first place. So now I'm stuck here at the Inn, bedridden and useless, rubbing Bengay on my neck and cursing at the follies of these dag-nabit modern times. I guess there's just no place for an old fart like me in this World of Warcraft. However, that don't mean I can't complain about it.

With regards,
Old Wizzer D.

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Summer Fashions: An editorial by Olaf Tightpants

This summer is going to be hot, no doubt about that. We can all thank the gnomes scientific advancement for causing global warming. Regardless, you're going to want to stay cool this summer. If you happen to be a mage, your best bet is going to be the Aldor Regalia. Buff those frost spells while you can. It's gunna be a hot one.

Let's face it. You're a warrior. You hit, hard. Any armor is gunna look on you. I prefer the Warbringer Battlegear, for it's sleek design and little talked about, rust proofing. Remember, you are a warrior. A little rust in the old armor and you just won't be swing'n like you used to.

Unless you want to look like Rowen Hashiba of the Ronin Warriors, I'd avoid the Rift Stalker gear, and head straight for the Demon Stalker Set. That's pretty much all there is to it.

For you druids out there. . .Re-roll. You're always gunna look like a tree or an elk.

And for a simply angelic presence, there is no doubt. You priests are going to want to pick up the new Avatar Raiment. If you happen to be a male preist, good luck finding anything that will really accentuate your manliness. Even your extended catalog of shadow spells can't make you seem any manlier. Ladies, Enjoy! :)

You rouges out there, where ever you may be hiding, we don't see you much but you should
always look your best. You have two choices. You can look like a cheap knock off of the Guyver, or strike fear into the hearts of your prey with the Deathmantle. We highly recommend the fear thing.

Let's face it Lock's, You were made to be scary. Don't downplay your finest feature by settling on lesser armor. The choice is clear and the verdict is in. Corruptor Raiment. If nobody is scared of you in this, you must be a gnome.

Shaman are usually known for their oneness with nature. It's time to toss the old look out and really kick it up a notch. The Cyclone Regalia Should give you a well deserved refinded look yet still be able to save you toosh in a tight spot. I know how much you love nature, but times are changing and you don't want to end up like the druids, do you?

This has been Olaf Tightpants your favorite Fashion Guru.

World of Newscraft
WoW tier 4 5 armor set world of warcraft WoW tier 4 5 armor set world of warcraft
WoW tier 4 5 armor set world of warcraft WoW tier 4 5 armor set world of warcraft
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Dueling: Friendly Competition or Senseless n00b beating?

Here at World of Newscraft, we are well aware of the topic at hand, as it seems to be a right of passage in ones early days in Azeroth. Although an all to common event, we felt as if this topic deserved to be brought to light, as it is often over looked.

Imagine: You've been summoned to serve under whomever you might call master. You report to training as the class of your choice only to be challenged to a duel by an ally. Young and excited to test your might and prove yourself as a great warrior, you neglect to check the strength of your opponent and eagerly accept. The battle begins. The moment you cast your first attack you notice. . . the attack did nothing . . . you freeze, your opponent isn't dressed cool as a fashion statement, no, you've accepted to duel with someone far more leet than you. Once you realize your mistake it's too late. Take a knee.

This reporter decided to get the first hand experience and invited my fellow allies to duel me. My offer was first met by hesitation so I issued the challenge. One, Corporal Mysticdragon, was kind enough to accept. Without hesitation I was greeted with polymorph. As I wandered around contemplating what most sheep do, I couldn't help but feel this feeling of impending doom. Of course, the second the spell wore off, Mysiticdragon was all to quick to dispatch of me. I thanked her for the duel and made my way back to Stormwind. My pride was tucked tightly between my legs.

I learned many things in the span of 5 seconds. My sheepish mind taught me to be a little more cautious when facing danger. My Paladin heart taught me to be a little more humble of my abilities. All in all I learned that no one is to blame for the senseless beating of the casual n00b. If anything, the outcome of the duel can only be the fault of the n00b itself.

So to all n00bs out there, remember to check your opponents stats before stepping into a "friendly" duel with a stranger, and never, EVER, complain when you are pounded into the dust.

From World of Newscraft, this is Dave Davidson signing out!

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

And so it begins....

World of Newscraft is well on its way. The set is under construction and our top reporters are out on the scene scouring for stories. Expect the first video feed sometime this summer.

Until then, we will try to bring you all the latest news from Azeroth. There's always so much going on. If you are interested in submitting a story for WoN, you can shoot an e-mail over to:

We will give full credit for the story upon posting. Please include your Screen Name and Server, this way many kudos and propery can be rained upon you like much good tidings.

This is all for now but remember;

Only the strong will level!

-Dave Davidson

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