Friday, June 29, 2007

Behind the Quest: Billy Maclure ( Part 2: Pork Pie Peril )

We last left at the end of my quest. I now had a new pair of gloves, and a bothersome question. How did a young boy like Billy Maclure know so much about Gold Tooth? I needed to know and only one person had the answers. . .Billy.

After a short rest from my weary quest I made haste back to the Maclure Vineyard. I was on a new quest now, one of mystery and intrigue. One who's only reward was. . .THE TRUTH! As I approached the Vineyard I noticed Billy talking to a brave young warrior. This instantly drew my curiosity so I tiptoed through the bushes just within earshot. What I heard next was unforgettable.
The warrior was inquiring as to the whereabouts of Auntie Bernice's necklace! "WTF!", I thought to my self. How could this be? I had just returned it to here not 10 minutes before coming over here. I waited for Billy's response. . .

"I was playing near the Fargodeep Mine, and I think I dropped, er...I mean I saw, the old lady's necklace. Don't ask me how it got wasn't me!" It sounded all too familiar. After the warrior left Billy turned and went into the Macllure barn, I followed. Inside I saw pork pie upon pork pie, Stacked and counted. I could hear whispers from the back of the barn. One voice was Billy's and the other sounded strangely familiar, howver, I could not place it. The conversation went as follows:

[Billy]: Is everything in order?

[Voice]: Yes, everything is going according to plan.

[Billy]: Good, soon we shall have enough pork pies and all of Goldshire will tremble!

[Voice]: Yes, these fools, along with that stupid widow, will farm us enough pork pies to start our pork pie business. With it we will have enough gold to buy Goldshire itself!

[Billy]: Mwa ha ha ha! ROTFL!

I heard footsteps coming my way so I ran out of the barn and took cover behind a nearby wagon. When I peered back out I saw him. GOLD TOOTH! Him and Billy have been in cahoots this whole time! I don't know the entire plan, but I did know enough! I gathered my self then attempted to sneak away, but I was spotted. I ran as fast as I could toward Goldshire but the Gold Tooth was unrelenting. I didn't know what to do. As I approached the small ridge outside Goldshire, just past the mines, I tripped over an old fallen tree trunk. It seemed like the end. With Gold Tooth fast approaching I did the only thing I could. I grabbed a nearby forest spider and hurled it as hard as I could. Luckily for me, it hit Gold Tooth square in the face. I stood back up and bolted for town.

I made it. I was out of breath and covered in sweat. I had no evidence of my findings and knew no one would believe me. The best I could do was take shelter at the in and record my story. Hopefully someone will read it. Maybe they'll think twice before gathering Pork Belly Pies for Billy Maclure.

This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Behind the Quest: Billy Maclure ( Part 1: The Quest )

As you all may well know, ( at least those with the alliance ) young Billy Maclure has been an intricate part of your early days in Azeroth. But what do you really know about Billy Maclure? This reporter dug deeper to find the truth behind this meat pie menace.

It all starts with a lost necklace. One sweet "Auntie" Bernice Stonefield has lost a precious bejeweled necklace, and she thinks she knows who did it. This poor widow points you in the direction of a menace known as Billy Maclure. From Bernice's trustworthy suspicions, he doesn't seem to be a very reputable character. You make your way over to the Maclure vineyards in hopes to retrieve this poor woman's necklace. This is where it all starts.

I arrived at the Maclure Vineyard with nothing but disdain for young Billy, as I tried to remain as objective as possible. I spoke with Billy regarding the necklace but he didn't seem to have any information. I, initially, felt bad for judging him. He said he may remember who had the necklace then he asked me to have Bernice bake him some Pork Belly Pies to jog his memory. I hesitated, thinking this was just a scam, but then remembered how hard it is to think on an empty stomach. I humbly accepted.

I ran about for neigh an hour, killing boar after boar. Finally I found 4 usable pieces of decent boar meat. I swiftly returned to Aunt Bernice. She said she would make me the pies but would not let go of her suspicion that young Billy was behind all this. I, on the other hand, was still trying my hardest to stay neutral in this endeavor. After Aunt Bernice finished my pies, I was off.

I rushed back over the the Maclure Vineyards to find Billy wide eyed over the meat pies. He took them from me and gobbled a few down. I had to interrupt him, mid-chew, to inquire about the necklace. He said I could find it in the possession of a large, gold-toothed Kobold. I took off to the Fargodeep mine, it was notorious for it massive Kobold populous. Yet there was something in the way he said it that made me ever suspicious. I had no time for doubts though, I had a widow's necklace to retrieve.

I fought my way through the mines, laying to waste Kobold after Kobold. I would stop, only to heal myself and recharge lost mana. Then, after defeating countless foes in a maze of bloodshed, I saw him. Gold Tooth, it was a triumphant moment, and I drank it in like blended Pork Belly Pie! Gold Tooth and I stood face to face, locked in intense stare. His gaze was white hot and my sword was as sharp as a Marshfang Slicer Blade. I motioned. . .He charged. With each slice, each blow, each cut and scrape, my victory drew closer. I was fueled by the passion of a distressed widow, drowning in the loss of an epic sentiment. Finally, my hard work had paid off. As Gold Tooth lie there I searched his pockets only to find that young Billy Maclure's story held up. The necklace was safe and en route to it's rightful owner.

I returned to Bernice with the necklace safe in hand and when I arrived she was ever great full. We said our good byes, I took my reward, then took my leave. But the story doesn't end there. This is where it all begins. With Billy's ever too convenient knowledge of the Gold Tooth, my mind was a flurry. There was work to do.

. . .To Be Continued. . .

Dave Davidson

World of Newscraft

Saturday, June 23, 2007

WoW TCG Art Card Sets

Now I know some of you may be partial to actually play the TCG. In my personal, yet ever so humble opinion, I think it's stupid. Playing a card game you can play online? Hmmmmm...always seemed to me like another shot for Blizzard to make a few extra bucks more than the millions they already make every month. Regardless. They just released the new TCG Art Card Sets.

Now I know I just bitched about Blizzard raping it's fans for more money, but, I really want these. They are far less expensive, overall, than getting invested in a decomposable version of an online game. I also just really appreciate art. Especially when the particular subject of the art is something I'm really into at the moment.

The set includes:
  • 35 different 8"x10" art cards displaying art from the World of Warcraft Trading Card Game.
  • Horde Images by Dan Scott, Justin Sweet, Todd Lockwood, Jonboy Meyers, Samwise and other top artists.
  • Alliance Set Images by Kev Walker, James Zhang, Todd McFarlane, Michael Komarck, Greg Staples and other and other top artists.
  • An exclusive game-playable TCG foil card.
  • A high-point-value UDE Rewards Card. Use these points to get enhancements for your online game or other exclusive prizes.

They are sold as two separate sets. The ever so amazing Horde set, and the slightly less, yet still extra cool, Alliance set. I know I'm bias, but look, Dave is the news anchor not me. I don't have to be fair and balanced. :P They're gunna run you $49.99 over at Game Stop/EB Games, but they're bound to bring you much joy. I'm sure you'll find them cheaper at a discount store in a couple weeks anyway.

So break out your official World of Warcraft Visa card and get to swipe'n. It's time to get your art on bizznitch!

You're ever so classy friend,
Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Robin Hood Screenshot Contest

The 15 winners have been announced. Personally I don't think a lot of these screens deserved to win much of anything. Many of them looked like "Hey, here's me playing WoW!" Maybe I just don't have the keen eye for composition that the Blizzard staff possesses . I did however find one winner that I thought actually deserved a prize.

The picture to your right was submitted by Moonasha. This, to me, is the only one of the lot that looked like it took some kind of effort. For a screen shot contest, this really shows a lot of effort. I like it. (click image for larger view )

The rest of the winners can be found here, but don't say I didn't warn you. They aren't "gouge your eyes out" bad, but they definitely aren't good. Of course, as usual, I'll leave the final judgment to yourself. Till we meet again.

-Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Music Contest

For those of you unawares, there is a music video contest a happening. The Ataris/World of Warcraft Music Video Contest. The Finalists have been announced and are waiting for your vote. The winner will be announced on June 30th.

So far Sedrin is in the lead with his video for "Frame of Mind". I had the pleasure to watch it, and I only have 2 words for it; Stun Ing! It definitely deserves to be in the finals. But don't let me tell you what to think. Go see for your self here. Enjoy.

-Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

Bring out the Brute Squad!

DAMN BOYEEEEE! Blizzard looks mad. Not just mad like when you stub your toe and your kids toys, but mad like when you catch your wife cheating on you with a a handsome blood elf on your anniversary.

They had the following to say:

"we will continue to aggressively monitor all World of Warcraft realms in order to protect the service and its players from the negative effects of cheating."

I'm all for it. I'm not one to cheat so I wouldn't say it really effects me. No biggie. Either way, botters beware. U R da Suxorz! As if you didn't already know!

-Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

Monday, June 18, 2007

Illidan Defeated

You may have already seen it, but for those of you who have not, Illidan has been defeated. We here at World of Newscraft are joyed yet dismayed. On the one hand, Iliidan has been slain and one less icon of corruption and evil now exists in our world, yet on the other hand. You may recall, some time ago, we had sent numerous field reporters (mostly interns) to obtain an interview, one on one, with Illidan. None of our reporters returned with the story, if they returned at all. We lost a lot of good men, women, and children in attempting to gain the exclusive interview, but now it seems it was all in vain. Illidan has been slain and his person shall forever be shrouded in the legend and history that surrounds him. We will never truly know Illidan.

We have found this footage however, and now have it available for the viewer.


This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraft
Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW *all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Friday, June 15, 2007

Wizzer D's Forsaken Bastard Corner: Passive Mage

Mages. I'm a mage, and i'm dern proud of it. Ain't noth'n wrong with bein a mage, unless, you are the kind of mage that sits around eating up your own dag nabbit mana and doing little to no damage. I was run'n round in Shadow Fang with a fella 'bout 10 levels over me. Now, all the baddies round these parts were my level or higher. So we recruit some more folks to help out. We ended up with another mage who happened to be 6 levels over me. I thought, "Hey, this scallywag oughta be able to help out fairly well, consider'n how much butt I've been kick'n." No, I was wrong, and I HATE bein wrong. This little no goodnik just sat there cast'n his arcane explosion. My wand was doing more damage than his explosion! I had more magic in my pinky then this sorry excuse for a mage had in his whole spellbook. A mage that doesn't do any damage? Boy howdy, it's like a day without bloodshed. This little rapscallion had to of been PL'd to get that far with his skill. I was ashamed. Kids these days with their "power level'n". When are they gunna learn, if'n you want some respect, you gotta earn it. I swear. I should've challenged that little whiper snapper to a duel. I think I got enough moxy left in the old bones to go toe to toe with a passive agressive mage!

With regards,
Old Wizzer D.

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Blizzcon Tickets 2007

I know, I'm a bit behind. On sale as of the 12th. My prediction is they sell out in less then a week. No actual figures to back this prediction, it's just how fast I think they SHOULD sell out. Especially if I could afford to go myself.

Now, Just because I, nor any of my other writers will be able to attend, doesn't mean we don't have ways of getting the scoop from Blizzcon. Believe it or not, we have friends. Though they seem to be few and far between :).

We'll try to update a bit more often. I'm currently working on getting all the gear we're gunna need to do a video feed along with the articles. Funds are tight so be patient. I think the Wizzer is gunna have something here soon. He seemed real angry in passing today.

Well, that's it for now. Stay in touch.

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Olaf Tightpants: Candid Fashions

Hallo kiddies. Welcome to Candid Fashions, my name is Olaf Tightpants. I hope you all enjoyed my review of the new tier sets, I know I did. You probably have been wandering, "Hey Olaf, What do you do in your free time while you are waiting to tell me which tier sets looks best because I don't know as much about fashion as you and could never decide on my own?" Good question. It's simple. When I'm out defeating numerous foes, I always have one eye on the latest fashion trends. This means, that if you happen to come trouncing by whilst I am in the heat of battle, AND you happen to be wearing the same outfit as me. Well, you will probably be the subject of a photo and horrible tongue lashing on my candid fashions segment. No one takes the spotlight away from Olaf when it comes to fashion. Rule one: If Olaf is wearing it, then ONLY Olaf knows how to really WEAR it.

Today in Candid Fashions I found a couple of do's and don'ts of fashion. Let's have a look shall we? Yes... the answer is yes we shall. Come.

First, our fashion do! This young vixen is sporting a classic ensemble. Normally I would push for something a little more modern but she pulls it off quite nicely. It must be her bone structure. That girlish figure, she can't weigh more than 50 pounds. I would kill for a figure like that. This is beside the point. It classic, it's chic, it's in. But who knows how long it will be "in". I do, and I'm not telling.

And here we have a fine specimen of fashion failure. This medley of color and curve leaves my one eye sobbing in a pit of despair, whilst my other eye searches frantically though the depth of it's soul for a metaphorical razor blade with witch it can cut it's tiny little eyeball wrists. How tragic. It looks like a clown and a cow got in a head on collision, made love, had a baby, later found out that they were brother and sister, which is why the baby came out mutated and now the baby lives in a cave in the middle of nowhere hunting disenfranchised passers by. I weep. But only one tear.

So for all you fashion n00bs out there. Keep this tip in mind. If I haven't told you it looks good, then you should probably set it on fire and never think about wearing it again.

This has been Olaf Tightpants, your favorite Fashion Guru.

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Friday, June 8, 2007

Wizzer D's Forsaken Bastard Corner: L70ETC

It looks like these dang old whipper snappers are at it again. Always run'n their mouths, make'n all kinds of noise. Even after an old man has passed and then reanimated can he get no dern rest! Us older gents got no one to blame but dem change'n times. This "Rock 'n Roll" music ain't nothin but a bunch of ruckus, just pollute'n the air.

This band, The so called, Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain (L70ETC) ain't nothin but a bunch of no goodniks look'n for trouble and stir'n things up. Now don't get me wrong. I listened to'em, but all I heard was a bunch of sas! Anyways, here's a music video for you youngins out there who would consider this type of violation to be "music".

With regards,
Old Wizzer D.

World of Newscraft
Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain L70ETC Level 60Elite Tauren Chieftain L60ETC Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain L70ETC Level 60 Elite Tauren Chieftain L60ETC Level 70 Elite Tauren Chieftain L70ETC Level 60 Elite Tauren Chieftain L60ETC
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

More Armory Action!

The Armory is really start'n to kick in to full gear here. Of course, not full in a sense of complete, more like. . . really shake'n. The Armory has recently been fitted with a niffty little item search. Of course this pretty much already existed on Thottbot. Yet again, the fans keep Blizzard well behind.

Not to be outdone, however, Blizzard has made the addition of making this item database work in conjunction with your character profile. So basically you can pin up your character and start comparing your currently equipped items with ones you might be thinking about getting. And all this from the comfort of your cubicle. That is, when you aren't actually working, or playing minesweeper. So kudos to Blizzard for this LONG overdue character development system. You've taken a good thing and made it considerably better.

Well, enjoy spending countless hours searching the "Official" items database. I know I will.

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Monday, June 4, 2007

Murloc Suit: Predicted by World of Newscraft

Now, for those of you familiar with past articles, you most likely read Dave Davidson's "Interview with a Murloc". In this article, Dave had to dress up in a Murloc suit in order to secure the interview he desired. If you've been here lately then you just recently saw that Blizzard is giving a Murloc suit to all Blizzcon attendees.

Now, I'm not saying that Blizzard is getting free ideas from a fanfic site, nor am I saying that they straight up stole it. However, I am saying that it is rather suspicious that WE introduced the suit on 5/29/07 and Blizzard did not announce it until 6/4/07.

If you read the ground breaking article by Dave then you know the painstaking efforts he went through to get his story. This includes getting access to Thrall and constructing his own murloc suit made out of ACTUAL Murloc skin. This particular suit looks rather shoddy, made from ratty old socks and other various rags.

What an unfortunate coincidence. No doubt we'll see more groundbreaking ideas out of World of Newscraft, but perhaps even more coincidence regarding later similarities from Blizzard releases.

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft
Murloc suit Blizzcon Blizzard Murloc Murloc suitMurloc suit Blizzcon Blizzard Murloc Murloc suitMurloc suit Blizzcon Blizzard Murloc Murloc suitMurloc suit Blizzcon Blizzard Murloc Murloc
Blizzcon swag Blizzcon rewards
Blizzcon swag Blizzcon rewardsBlizzcon swag Blizzcon rewards
*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Friday, June 1, 2007

May 2007 Comic Contest Winner!

Last months winner features a comic regarding the truth behind the world's most popular game. That's right, you just got pwned by a little girl. I guess it is possible to feel even worse about being middle aged and living in a basement. Perhaps I'll just re-spec my talent tree and give this little tyke another go round!

The honorable mentions for May can be found here, but you probably already knew that!

Tomas Franklin

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft
World of Newscraft