Saturday, June 9, 2007

Olaf Tightpants: Candid Fashions

Hallo kiddies. Welcome to Candid Fashions, my name is Olaf Tightpants. I hope you all enjoyed my review of the new tier sets, I know I did. You probably have been wandering, "Hey Olaf, What do you do in your free time while you are waiting to tell me which tier sets looks best because I don't know as much about fashion as you and could never decide on my own?" Good question. It's simple. When I'm out defeating numerous foes, I always have one eye on the latest fashion trends. This means, that if you happen to come trouncing by whilst I am in the heat of battle, AND you happen to be wearing the same outfit as me. Well, you will probably be the subject of a photo and horrible tongue lashing on my candid fashions segment. No one takes the spotlight away from Olaf when it comes to fashion. Rule one: If Olaf is wearing it, then ONLY Olaf knows how to really WEAR it.

Today in Candid Fashions I found a couple of do's and don'ts of fashion. Let's have a look shall we? Yes... the answer is yes we shall. Come.

First, our fashion do! This young vixen is sporting a classic ensemble. Normally I would push for something a little more modern but she pulls it off quite nicely. It must be her bone structure. That girlish figure, she can't weigh more than 50 pounds. I would kill for a figure like that. This is beside the point. It classic, it's chic, it's in. But who knows how long it will be "in". I do, and I'm not telling.

And here we have a fine specimen of fashion failure. This medley of color and curve leaves my one eye sobbing in a pit of despair, whilst my other eye searches frantically though the depth of it's soul for a metaphorical razor blade with witch it can cut it's tiny little eyeball wrists. How tragic. It looks like a clown and a cow got in a head on collision, made love, had a baby, later found out that they were brother and sister, which is why the baby came out mutated and now the baby lives in a cave in the middle of nowhere hunting disenfranchised passers by. I weep. But only one tear.

So for all you fashion n00bs out there. Keep this tip in mind. If I haven't told you it looks good, then you should probably set it on fire and never think about wearing it again.

This has been Olaf Tightpants, your favorite Fashion Guru.

World of Newscraft

*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

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